Crave..Sarah Kane

melt when you smile and dissolve when you laugh

and i want to play hide and seek and give you my clothes and tell you i like your shoes and sit on the steps while you take a bath and kiss your feet and hold your hand and go for a meal and not mind when you eat my food and talk about the day and laugh at your paranoia and give you tapes you don’t listen to and watch great films and watch terrible films and take pictures of you when you’re sleeping and drink coffee at midnight and have you steal my cigarettes and never be able to find a match and want you in the morning but let you sleep for a while and kiss your back and stroke your skin and tell you how much i love your hair your eyes your lips your neck your breasts your arse your and sit on the steps smoking till your neighbour comes home and sit on the steps smoking till you come home and worry when you’re late and be amazed when you’re early and give you sunflowers and be sorry when i 'm wrong and happy when you forgive me and look at your photos and wish i'd known you forever and hear your voice in my ear and feel your skin on my skin and get scared when you’re angry and hug you when you’re anxious and hold you when you hurt and want you when i smell you and get cold when you take the blanket and hot when you don’t and melt when you smile and dissolve when you laugh and wonder who you are but accept you anyway and write poems for you and wonder why you don’t believe me and have a feeling so deep i can’t find words for it and buy you presents you don’t want and take them away again and ask you to marry me and you say no again but keep on asking because though you think i don’t mean it i do always have from the first time i asked you and want what you want and think i’m losing myself but know i’m safe with you and tell you the worst of me and try to give you the best of me because you don’t deserve any less and answer your questions when i’d rather not and tell you the truth when i really don’t want to and try to be honest because i know you prefer it and forget who i am and try to get closer to you and speak german to you badly and hebrew to you worse and make love with you at three in the morning and somehow somehow somehow communicate some of the overwhelming undying overpowering unconditional all-encompassing heart-enriching mind-expanding on-going-never-ending love i have for you

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